Been out east the past few days, visiting. It was supposed to be a vacation, but turned into a working vacation (writers will know what I mean. When you have an idea, you need to write it down before you forget/lose momentum.). The visit was fun, but I’m coming to really realize, I’m sssooo NOT a traveller.
For your consideration, I submit the following:
- Despite years and years of practice going through security, I still set off the alarm, every time.
- No matter how hard I try to look harmless, I’m always chosen for the “random search.” (quotes around it, because after all this time, not feeling so random to me). And to further this point, on the flight back home, I was tagged for TWO searches: the “we’re going to take everything out of your bag” search and the “we need to swab your hands” search…thank God I didn’t get the “we want to go splunking in your various body parts” search.
- On the flight, there AND back (how shameful is that!), I managed to elbow my seat mate, every time I moved. Occasionally (if I timed it just right), I ended up elbowing him every time he moved.
- During taxi, I sent my lip gloss flying through the air and rolling down the aisle toward oblivion (my new lip gloss, the one I’d just discovered and loved).
- On the straight walk down the aisle to the bathroom, I manged to hit almost every seat I passed by.
- Inadvertently ended up sitting on a guy’s arm (I was standing & leaning back, trying to let someone past me in the aisle.).
I don’t know, I just don’t think I’m flying material. Despite the fact that everyone’s super good-natured about my moose-like tendencies, I always seem to feel like the country bumpkin, who’s stepping on to a plane for the first time…