A sure sign I need time off:

  1. Get to my location. It’s pouring rain”pat self on back for remembering to bring umbrella.
  2. Realize (when I try to open it) umbrella is broken.
  3. Try to unstick button.
  4. Fail.
  5. Try again.
  6. Realize I probably shouldn’t point umbrella in such a way that it will break my nose when it opens.
  7. Reposition umbrella.
  8. Try to fix it.
  9. Finally (minutes later) fix it.
  10. Emerge from car, victorious and ready to walk in the rain.
  11. Realize door is two feet away and is covered by overhang.
  12. Realize I’m parked directly in front of door, and am less than 12 inches from covered overhang.
  13. Sigh, stick umbrella back in car, and realize how frightening it is that they allow me to vote.
Natasha Deen author
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