Can someone write the stories for me? I want to play hookey and sleep all day.

I’m blaming it on food poisoning…which I accidently gave myself (never said I was the smartest writer). Yeah, I was trying to be nice to my husband and make us dinner, and used expired sauce. In my defense, I didn’t realize these things could actually expire.

Made him sick, too, but he didn’t get it as bad as me…so once again, relagated to not cooking (thank goodness), but got some brownie points for it…mmm…brownies…

Highlights for the past two weeks:

Finished two short stories: one for the school newsletter, the other for a small press/e-publisher. Have been having all sorts of lovely productivity, for which I’m extremely grateful. June was a wash-out–painful just to get a page or two done. July, I’ve been able to get back to the usual five pages (and more!). Who knows how long this will last. I’m writing as fast as I can, and writing as much as I can, so when the drought hits (and it always does), I’ll be on or ahead of schedule.

Put my cell phone through the washer. And dryer. Yep. Very clever on my part. So, I had to go out and get a new phone…I’m not a huge fan of my current provider, and I was dreading have to re-sign to a new, three-year contract. Thankfully, I was able to buy a phone outright and didn’t have to sign anything.

What else is new? The puppies are back for a refresher course in how to be good citizens. They’re actually pretty good dogs, but after they decided to chase a dog, we thought it was best to re-train them on proper greetings…I admit, I have mixed feelings about this…to be fair, the dog WANTED to be chased, she just got freaked out when she realized how hard our guys go. So, the training is mainly about getting them to STOP doing something when we or the dog decides we’ve had enough.

Oh! I know what’s new. The library camps! They’ve been AWESOME!!! Two very different groups. One has about eleven members, who range from grade 5 to grade 10. The other is smaller, about six kids, grades seven to nine. The size of a group really determines its dynamics. Smaller feels cozier, and bigger can bring a really unique energy to the setting.

The librarians have been absolute dreams to work with, and we’re all having a great time!

I love Mae West–ballsy, outspoken, she didn’t just walk to a different beat, she had an entire percussion section. Some of my favorite Westisms:

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.
Mae West

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae West

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.
Mae West

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.
Mae West

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.
Mae West

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.
Mae West

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.
Mae West

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
Mae West

So, I always get teased because when it comes to movies or books, I always check the ending before I start reading/watching. My reasoning: if I’m going to invest time in the journey, I better had like the destination.

We’re walking the boys this morning* and my husband was talking about a movie he’d stayed up to watch. He said that it was a great movie, but the ending was totally disappointing. He then went on to say that he was annoyed because he didn’t want to watch a movie that validated the status-quo of life–he wanted to watch something that gave a semblance of hope, that said perhaps we could rise above our situations and achieve a better life.

All I could say was, “See? This is why I check the endings. If I want to spend three hours with dysfunction or fatalism masquerading as reality, I’ll go visit certain people I know. When it comes to my entertainment, give me a happy ending, give me hope, give me a character that does more than wallow and give in to despair.”

He nodded, and you know waht that means. He’s come over to the dark side…for now. He’s a gemini, which means in two days, he’ll be watching some gut-wrenching movie where the main character tries valiently but dies, or the bad guy gets away. Me? I’ll be in another room.

*While we were walking the dogs, we came across barbed wire strung along the path. It was buried in the bark of a tree, but the wire itself was new…which makes you wonder if someone with bad intentions towards bikers/walkers/dogs put the wire there…we called the city and they said they’d have it removed right away (Edmonton is really amazing at stuff like that, it really will be done within the day)…still, what a creepy way to start the day.